Goals - February

💖 February 2014 Goals 💖

💖 Hit 100lbs Deadlift PR -- I really really want to hit this PR. I am not sure why I am set on reaching 100lbs other than it seems like a good attainable number. 😉 

💖 More sleep; more than the usual 5 hours a night -- I've slowly been working on this and for the last couple of weeks I cannot stay up past midnight, with the exception of a couple of days ago when baby boy got sick. Still, I will strive to get the sleep my body needs in order to recover. 

💖 Aim for the ever so sought after Onederland -- I have been reaching to break that 200 pound mark for what seems like forever and I truly believe I am so close. So close in fact that I have told myself I will get a reward, the first I've ever given myself on this journey; A new tattoo! 

💖 Stop stressing so much -- I stress over not seeing "enough o this or that" I stress way too much over little things and stress leads to building of cortisol which leads to excess fat retention...I NEED that fat gone, therefore I really have to work on my stress. 😜

Speaking of Onderland... the next post will be a weight update!

Happy 2014

Wow...it's been a while since I've blogged. I've been keeping up daily with my instagram account, so I in no way have quit.

Things are starting off rocky for me this year. A little back story; we surprised my grandparents on Christmas day by having the family show up at the house for a get together.  I brought my camera and just tried to capture the moments we shared as a family. As it turned out, our time with Grandpa would be one of the last special moments we would share as a whole family. A few days after Christmas, Grandpa suffered a stroke to the right side of his brain.  He has spent the last couple of weeks in the hospital, while the doctors determined the severity of his condition. In the end, there is a very unlikely chance he will ever return home. As of this afternoon he has Ben transferred to a rehabilitation facility where he will he likely spend the remainder of his life. It's a lot to take in emotionally.

The other issue I've now been forced to face is saying "goodbye for now" to my training partner, motivator and friend. For the last month or more, I've been weight training with my friend, helping her strengthen herself so that she could enlist in the Marines. This has been her dream, to join, to serve and to make her country proud.  We had a deadline of when she would be shipping off  to bootcamp. That changed from February to the end of January. I honestly thought we'd have more time together until I received the bombshell text yesterday.

She was offered a contract on the job she wanted, she jumped at the chance and they shipped her out this morning. My friend and motivator is gone. I am beyond devastated. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled she is chasing her dreams. She has worked so hard to get this far., but it has left a major hole in my soul. I cried all yesterday afternoon and evening. I was literally a blubbering baby.

Today has gone a little but better. I talked to her Mommy and offered to workout with her while my friend is away. I made some promises to my friend and I intend to keep them. I also really and truly thought  about why this situation is making me so sad.  My husband even questioned why is making me so upset and I believe I now know why.

I truly do not have many friends who know the ins and outs of my fitness habits and training practices. There are few people I see on an almost daily basis who believe in the same dreams I do. Dreams where I can accomplish whatever I want. There is no one, besides my friend, who motivates me when I want to quit mid-workout; when I think "it's too much weight to lift." We seriously push each other through every session whether it be lifting or fitness class. Saturday I finally decided to go with it and started Krav Maga and she was there for me, helping me, making me understand. I feel lost because our friendship has been so strong and now... she's not here.

I don't wish for her to return early, I want her to be successful in bootcamp and become the best Marine she can be. I am grateful she thought highly enough of me to ask for help so that she could chase her dream. In return I am going to work my butt off and stay motivated, keeping my promises and I am going to chase my dreams, becoming the best version of myself.

Thirteen weeks. I will be a better person when she touches down again.

2012 Review & 2013 Goals

I am not a fan of resolutions. Not because I can't keep them, but I've just never been one to make resolutions. I find them pointless. I will however be outlining some goals for the new year as well as looking back on some accomplishments from 2012.

Let's start with the picture above. How stinking true is that? I cannot wait to begin my book.

To start my new year off right I've decided I'm going to attempt Gracious Pantry's Clean Eater's No Sugar Challenge. This means no foods that have added sugar of any kind, including added natural or artificial sweeteners  I'm only a few hours into my first day and I cannot believe how many things have sugar added into them. I have been avoiding processed food for quite some time, as best I can, but even the things I have chose to consume have things in them I wasn't aware of. It's amazing how many "health" foods, or at least better for you foods, still have sugar added into them. :P

This is going to be a difficult challenge for me I can already tell, but I'm going to give it my best shot. I intend to start a draft page here on the blog to log how each day goes. I may or may not write every day, but I plan to chronicle this journey over the next 30 days. I'm a chocoholic, and sweet lover so I know I will struggle but I'm truly hoping to succeed and finally get past the impulses where I have to shove candy and sweets in my pie hole when I'm not truly craving them.

Reason number two this will be a struggle? Today we are celebrating baby girls' birthday... with cake and frozen yogurt. :P So that is why I will try to avoid the sugars today, but I am going to indulge in a small piece of cake a single portion of frozen yogurt this evening. But beginning tomorrow I will be 100% on the challenge. :)

The challenge length is determined by the person partaking, but it is suggested that you complete a two week minimum. I however am going to try for 30 days. Wish me luck.

I've also decided that I will start lifting. I'm not sure where to start and I'm not sure how I'm going to accomplish this, but it WILL happen. We have some weights here at home so I will start there. I really want to get into lifting in addition to my cardio. So for now I will keep researching and make it work as I go. I cannot afford a gym membership, so I will do what I have to, to get it done at home.

Looking back over the last year I've accomplished more than I dreamed possible. After so many failures this was my year to get it right. I started Weight Watchers on March 27th. Nine months later I have managed to lose 62 pounds with less than 40 pounds to lose to see my initial goal. I am amazed at my progress. I've seen ups and downs with the program but I've stuck with it. This is HUGE for me as I've never made it past a week with anything else I've tried.

I've also completed two races this past year. My first 5K and 10K. Never in my wildest thoughts did I think I'd run as an adult in timed races. That's just crazy talk when you're over 200 pounds. But I did it. I've managed to push my body to do something I used to love doing as a teenager. It is such a great feeling of accomplishment and I look forward to my 2013 race season.

I'm hoping in the next three months to get close to my goal with the No Sugar Challenge and weight lifting. Only time will tell. :)

I don't want it to seem like this has been a smooth ride because it has been anything but. I've doubted myself, struggled with fatty foods, injury and overkill of sweets from time to time. But the difference for me this year has been the amount of support within my WW group. I have been able to go to my meetings, pick myself up and jump back on the horse regardless of "what happened".  Thank you to everyone who has popped by from time to time and left words of encouragement through out this journey. My journey is far from over and I appreciate everything YOU have done to help me. :)

Here's to 2013! I hope you'll stick around.

What Does 50 Pounds Feel Like?

{Warning: NSFW}

So you're probably wondering why this post wouldn't be safe for work. I'll forewarn you...I will be showing you some pics of me in my bra & undies.  O___o

But first, let's ponder a few things, shall we? You constantly see me moan & groan about not loosing a pound. I'll reference I "only" lost x.x lbs. But in reality, what is ONE POUND???

THAT is one pound of body fat... *BLINK* *BLINK* Wow. Just let that sink in. That is what one of those pesky pounds look like. That's what one of those pounds look like on my body?

So, if that's what ONE pound of body fat looks like, what does FIVE pounds look like?

Um, again, WOW. That's rather disturbing. Seriously. So you wanna see what one versus five looks like?

Ewwww. Now that we've let that sink in... I have lost FIFTY of those pesky, nasty looking pounds of fat.

Hmmm... 50 Pounds? What exactly looks like fifty pounds? Anyone? Yes, you there in the back...

Ah yes, the 50 pound dumbbell.

You sir?

A sack of potatoes? Clever.

And you Ma'am?

Holy Cow! A 50 pound bale of hay? I used to sling those as a teenager on our farm.

Those are some really great suggestions you guys! Thanks for participating. Now, funny thing is? I've lost MORE WEIGHT than the jogging stroller I use to push the kids around our neighborhood!!!

So what is next for me? Well I'm still a far cry from my goal. But I'm slowly moving there. So the next time you hear me complain about "only losing a pound" please feel free to refer me to my own post. ;)

As for those nekid pictures I promised you above... I am ever so grateful I stopped to take pictures of myself so that I can see my progress. Unfortunately I do not have pictures of myself at 277.6 as the first set I was brave enough to take was at 268.6. So the pictures don't quite reflect the entire 50 pounds, but it's pretty darn close. ;)

And I've been told I'm a brave soul for posting these on the internet. I don't see myself as being brave, I see myself as a woman who was determined to change her life one step at a time and hopefully in the process I will help someone else in their journey. Without photographs of yourself, you will never know just how far you've come. So if you haven't taken true "before photographs" of yourself, I encourage you to do so. You don't have to share them on the internet as I'm doing, but at least do it for yourself. You will thank me later. ;o)

So without further mumbo jumbo {don't say I didn't warn you} here I am in all my glory...

Next stop...

So what does 50 pounds feel like? After comparing these pictures...it feels amazing. To know what my body is capable of and to know that I CAN DO THIS!!!! There is no feeling in the world like accomplishment!

New Shoes - Round 2

So, my shoes I purchased on the 24th have been returned. I wore them twice! Both times they caused a blister on the top of my toe, left foot, before I could even hit the two mile mark. That is not going to fly with me. You don't go out and spend $114 on shoes for them to hurt you.

So I took them back and exchanged them for some Brooks. I like them. They seem to have more stability than the Mizuno, but that means they are more rigid. I think the cushioning in the Mizuno's didn't help much after wearing the Brooks. So here, we go with round two... and four days remain until my first race.

And I'm randomly throwing out there my dinner...

Tuna Salad. {Organic Baby Spinach, Romaine, Kale, Green Onion, Cherry Tomato and Tuna. And yes, I used my points on salad dressing.}

Until next post...

Why am I ups so late?

I should be sleeping, 1:33am is not a great time to blog, but I have to put this down otherwise it will bug me to the point I cannot get to sleep. Right now I'm thinking about my upcoming race. In 20 days I will partake in my first ever race. I am.not.ready. Oh, and I'm waiting on some laundry to finish that I have to hang up, so hopefully I can get to sleep.

I am pretty much ready for a 5K. But running the 6K is looking like it will be a challenge. So I'm sort of at a crossroads. I do have 20 days until the race, so do I just stick to it and see how the adrenaline pushes me the day of the race, or do I move myself from the 10k to the 5K. I KNOW I can walk the 6K, that's no problem. The problem is running. I'm still heavy, but I'm obviously in a better place than when I started.  I can run/walk the 5K in around 45-48 minutes. But after that, my legs and especially my knee peter out.

I know part of my knee problem is my shoes. They're nearing 300 miles on them. It's time for a new set. I just have to wait until we have enough extra cash to get a new pair. The arches are shot, it's allowing my foot to roll in and putting strain on my knee. I'm stretching, so don't worry that that is an issue. I'm icing and elevating as best I can, as well as taking inflammation meds. I just wish I could force myself to push through and entire 6 miles while running to see if I can do it. Right now it's not looking so good. Today I was going to try to see how I would do running 6 miles through. Ummmm... on a postitive note I ran 2 miles in 29 minutes. On the downside I then had to walk the remaining 4 miles. Thank you child bearing hips.

Changing the subject now... Here's how the last four weeks have looked. 88.29 miles in four weeks, 38 of those were this week alone, thanks to our bike ride. I LOVE seeing all of the blue on my graph. It makes me proud of where I've come from in a short amount of time.

And speaking of time, Saturday night, we spent some time in front of the ole fire pit. It was gorgeous outside. So much so that we, the girls, stayed up until after 2am. :) So imagine my surprise when I saw this on the scale yesterday morning.

WooHoo!!! Come on Tuesday! I'm praying for an even lower number by then.

What Have I Done???

I talked myself into it... I have officially registered for my first race. Eek! I will be running the the Broadway Bridge Run in the 10k group. Right now I'm sort of freaking out.

I have one month to be prepared... Holy.freakin.cow. What have I just done?!?!?!?!

I'm sort of excited, mostly nervous, and a little antsy... September 9th I will be prepared!

Weigh In & Goal Awards and Finding Myself

 

Weigh in Day!!!!

7.31 = 235.6

8.07 = 233.8

-1.8 pounds

Total Loss to Date: 26.2 pounds

This is sweet on so many levels. We had a family reunion this weekend and I was far from home and out of my comfort zone. My family LOVES food...and not the good for you food. I brought along bananas, carrots and jicama for snacking, as well as protein bars for breakfast. Most of the meals consisted of meat, carbs, carbs and more carbs. Very little fruit or produce was there. But I managed.

We ran to Subway about 20 minutes away so I could have dinner Friday night, AFTER the ice cream social. Can you say temptations? I hadn't eaten dinner and we had gallons upon gallons of homemade ice cream in front of me. I managed to take two small scoops of my Daddy's Andes Mint Ice Cream and left the rest alone. That was so hard.

Saturday we had sandwiches for lunch and I avoided the chips and snacked on my jicama as a side. Then I worked out...yes on "vacation" I squeezed in over 3 miles. Everyone thought I was crazy...but I knew if I didn't get it in, Tuesday would not have had such a great outcome. Then came dinner... smoked pulled pork butt and brisket, with home made BBQ sauce, cheesy potatoes, and carbs carbs carbs. I ate a bit of this and a bit of that and then... SOMEONE BROUGHT A SALAD. A spinach salad with a little cheese and mandarins in it; oh wait...what's that? They crumbled up bacon in it too...What the????? Sigh, so I scooped up the salad and managed to avoid all of the bacon. At least I got some green into my belly!

I really was freaking out what the scale would show come today, but my hubby suggested upping my water intake even more than what I was accustomed to, to help with the sodium content of the foods that entered my body. I guess it worked, it could also be the fact that I worked out on vacation, then after a four hour car ride home, I worked out again, and yet again yesterday...and for the record today as well.

I am an addict. There I said it. I'm addicted to working out now. I get that itchin' feeling when I'm sitting around and I just have to do something about it! It's great to feel this way.

It paid off...that and my new plan seems to be helping. So today I weighed in at 233.8. For WW that puts me 26.2 pounds down, meaning I reached my 25 loss award!!!! Even sweeter, I hit my 10% goal, which was 26 pounds. So I was received two awards in today's meeting. The next award available is for 50 pounds. I'm a ways away from that, but I've got my sights set on it.

Also, this puts me 43.9 pounds down from my heaviest...creeping up on 50 pounds. :)

For now, my next goal is 224lb. This puts me at 30 pounds down and the weight I was the day I was married my wonderful husband 5 years ago, this September.

25 Pound Washer

10% Weight Loss

All three of my Weight Watchers Awards

And believe it or not, I'm contemplating a couple of 5k and 10k races. Probably walking, but still...I'm actually considering it. :)

Hope everyone is having a fabulous week!

How was my week?

Well, my week went well. Better than I expected. I planned for 5 days of exercise and I got all 5 days in and then some! For my new goal of 33 points a day...I had several days above that. However, with the amount of exercise I was getting, I had to eat those points and I do not feel guilty about it. :)

Sick of The Up & Down

I am so tired of the up & down weather pattern. It's freaking crazy. We went from fall to spring to a mild summer. But seriously...you shouldn't have to deal with 30* weather at night and 70*-80* weather during the day. It just isn't right.

Today is cold, windy and cloudy. Blech. But I still made it work. The hubs is still gimpy so after about 2 miles he took the kiddos home and I continued on and was able to start jogging. I couldn't get too far ahead of him, so he kinda slowed me down. ;)

After my run I was in a weird food spot. So I made a silly, yummy snack for 7PP. Fresh pineapple, a chocolate fiber brownie, unsalted dry roasted peanuts, and raspberry-peach water. 

Tonight I'm going to whip up some more Lemon-Lime Garlic Chicken and Roasted Broccoli. Nummy...well time to start preparing dinner!

My Anchors

This weeks' theme at WW is Anchors. They are instilling in us the thought "What is your anchor?" In other words, what is the one thing (or things) that make you stop yourself from making a bad food choice and switching to a good food choice? What keeps you in line and lets you know you can do this?

It didn't take me long and I knew what my answer would be. My kids. More so number two, but I'll get to that. My kids are my anchor for several reasons.

1. I need to be there for them: Both physically and mentally. I cannot in good faith raise healthy children if I myself am not healthy. They need me now and will need me in the future. I have to be healthy in order for that to happen.
2. It's not fair: I cannot imagine losing one or both of my children anymore than I can fathom how they would get through life if I allowed something to happen to myself because I chose not to take care of this body. It's the only one I've got and now is the time to fix it.
3. They rely on me: They all rely on me for moral support, physical support and nutritional support. I can say I was raised to the best of my parents abilities, but they were certainly lacking in the nutrition department. I refuse to let my kids grow up in a nutritional deficit as I did. It's up to me, and eventually them, as to what their nutritional needs should be and how to meet those needs. 
4. I love them: Plain, simple and to the point. I love my children, my husband and most importantly myself. Okay, so right now I only like myself but I love the idea of the person I need to be. My family deserves a healthy daughter, sister, wife and mother. I deserve it.

But the true trigger that flipped my switch? I was able to give birth to my son with no drugs. Yes you read that right; no pitocin, no epidural, nada. Just good old fashion breathing, concentration, and pushing. I was absolutely determined to give birth to both of my children naturally and drug free. Unfortunately events occurred that prevented my wish with my daughter. But that made me even more determined to give birth to my son drug free. DETERMINATION. I made a choice, I stood by that choice and the outcome was amazing and so self gratifying. So, if I can be so determined to get through birth without drugs, why can I not do the same thing with weight loss? I mean afterall, the pain occurred through weight loss is nothing like giving birth. Bam. It hit me just like that. If I have a decision in this life, for this body that is mine, then darn it I can do this. It all boils down to what I am determined to do.

My anchor...
"If I can give birth to a child, drug free, then I most certainly can get healthy and lose this weight."

Oh, and don't mention it to my hubby, but in the end {once the weight is off} I'll be sporting a few new tattoos. ;)

So, what's your anchor? I'd love to hear.